I suppose the worst part was his screams. God, he was so fucking annoying, like a little kid who skinned his knee on the playground. Big brother thought he could force me to scratch his back the way dad made us do his, but I wasn't having it.
I was trying to enjoy munching on the container of Poppycock that was typically reserved for the best-behaved of us, but since my brother and I were the only ones home and our father was out on one of his benders and likely wouldn't be back for another day or so, I decided to grab it from where it was hidden behind the flour and sugar up in the cupboard and claim it for my own. The screaming had subsided for a bit, but I guess he thought dad might be home, so he started up again. His fingernails lay in a grisly pile on the bathroom floor where I left them. Why should I have to clean up his mess? I'm the one who did all the work, what with having to find a decent pair of pliers, tie him down and all. He even gave me a few bruises in the process. It wasn't as bad as when I cut his dick off. Oh, he'd made fun of me one too many times. Told all his asshole friends my uncut little cock looked like a baby elephant trunk.
You know, Poppycock sure blows Crunch 'n Munch and Cracker Jack out of the water, what with the thick caramel coating, the pecans and all. This shit's delicious. Anyway, back to his dick. So enough is enough, I thought, and when he was asleep I rolled over, sat on his chest so he couldn't move, and used mom's pinking shears to cut it off. They sure were pink after that, let me tell you. I'd be willing to bet he'd never make fun of my pecker ever again. The screams came again, and he was really getting on my nerves. It was almost as godawful as when I started slicing across his fucking forehead. All I wanted was his scalp. I had no intention of taking off his whole head or anything. "What do you thing I am, some kind of animal?" I said as he groggily opened his eyes and realized what I was doing. I'd put some of dad's pills in a spoon, crushed them up and put them in his Kool-Aid at snack time, so he was out like a light. For a while, anyway. Up til then I'd only imagined what it would sound like, so when I started pulling the hair and skin back over his noggin' the tearing sound almost made me gag. It kind of came off in pieces, and I got bored and ended up leaving jagged parts attached by these weird little strings of meat and blood and stuff. It was kind of gross, if you ask me. The whole point was to embarrass him like he did me when dad cut my hair funny 'cause he was drunk. I had to go to school like that, and boy was I fuming. "Not gonna make fun of me again, are 'ya?" I said. I got no response because I think he passed back out or something.
Anyway, as I sat back and gave brief consideration to cleaning up the smears, splats and drips all over the place by now, I polished off the whole can of Poppycock. I know, I know, you're thinking, "Boy, this guy's got no self control. You'd think he'd save some for later." I guess this is why mom used to say we couldn't keep stuff like this in the house.
You are a twisted person :). But, you write well.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate that, Bathwater.
DeleteI am not going to think of Poppycock the same way ever again, balanced.
ReplyDeleteSorry about that. Hmm, I have no problem eating it...
DeleteWell, that sure went grisly fast. Not where I thought it was going at all. But I enjoyed it. You have a twisted mind but that's awesome.
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary. I'm curious how you thought it would end.
DeleteAs one twisted person to another, what we find Humor and Normal in can often startle the masses. I wasn't sure how it would end either, but I can go have me a Sammy after something truly grisly, it came with the territory of my 2nd Corporate Life at the D.A.'s Office.
ReplyDeleteHey Dawn, sorry I missed this. Yeah, I could probably eat most anything if I witness something grisly. Although I will say- many moons ago when I was an EMT and got called to my first fatal accident it took a while to be able to eat what I'd been eating that night for dinner when I got that call.
DeleteWell, I feel ill. You have a real talent. I'm sorry such things happen but they should be shared, however told. Hope you are well.
ReplyDeleteSorry for making you feel ill, Darla, but thank you.
ReplyDelete