Now I'm really getting fed up. Even the slightest little slip gets an eyeroll, a groan of disgust , dirty looks. A day doesn't go by when I apparently say something that doesn't make sense. What do you want, I get confused easily. I think she's at her wits end with me forgetting things, almost constantly having to remind me she'd already told me something I don't remember her saying. So I forgot to make the oil change appointment. Is it the end of the world that I threw away the invoice for the new furnace we supposedly had installed? Are library fines really all that dire? The lamest conversation draws ire and huffs of disgust or something. I can't always remember her name. So sue me. Tonight we had an argument over whether or not we'd already watched a particular episode of some stupid fucking program we were watching. I got mad and said I was going to bed. I feel like a child, and want to be alone. I climb into my bed in my room down the hall from hers. Yeah, we've been sleeping separately for some time now. "You move around too much," she squawked. "And you hog my side". I swear, she complains more now than she ever has.
I may have dozed for a while, but my door just creaked open and I see her silhouette tip-toeing into my room. She's holding a pillow close to her chest, and it reminds me of an earlier, more enjoyable time in our marriage when we'd strip each other naked and get all silly and have pillow fights. Of course, I think it often lead to some good sex, at least for me, and the feather mess wasn't too bad to clean up the next morning. Maybe there's hope yet. Maybe she's remembering how much fun we had at one time and wants, really wants to get some of that back. I'm gonna stay still and quiet and make her think I'm asleep.