The kids were over for dinner a day ago, a week ago- who knows. My son's wife sat next to me and I mistook her for my own wife and touched her breast during dessert. I didn't think anyone noticed and I forgot we were at the dinner table. Talk about a firestorm. My wife called me a fucking freak, smacked me in the side of my head and sent me to my room. I couldn't say goodnight to the kids. Now my son isn't talking to me. His wife is furious and says I'm a pervert. My wife hates me and I think she's plotting ways to get out of our marriage. I don't remember where my son and his wife live so I can't even write to him to apologize, and I surely can't ask my wife. Sometimes I'm just confused. Is that a crime?
I hope this did not happen IRL.
ReplyDeleteNo ma'am, this is total fabrication, though it has its roots in reality. Sort of.
DeleteSometimes I'm not sure if these things really happen or if you are writing a story. If this really happened I'm sorry to hear that.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I decided to add a "Fiction" label to the ones that are completely made up, Mary, although it did get its start from several incidents involving my wife and my scatterbrained absentmindedness. All's well. For now.
DeleteAnd now I see the 'fiction' tag on there. I'll know to look for that next time. lol
DeleteOh man, I think your blog is the one that should have been named ThisShitMayBeTrue because you are seriously managing to fuck with my head. Lol
ReplyDeleteHey Tom, welcome back! My failing memory has caused some understandable frustration for my poor wife, and some "innocent" eyerolls, angry huffs and unintentionally brutal comments are the basis for a short story I've been working on. I'd love to keep y'all guessing, but I wanted to be honest. Most posts are stretched from actual events and memories, though.
DeleteFailing memory is one of my worst fears. what happens if I lose hold of what is right and wrong and grab every butt I'd like.
ReplyDeleteYour first sentence says it all for me. I'm deathly afraid of that.
DeleteI will also check for the fiction label. Glad all is well... for now.
ReplyDeleteThanks Juli. Most posts are stretches of reality from my youth, but I'll try to remember to attach the "Fiction" label where necessary.
DeleteAwkward. This would make for a interesting episode on "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
ReplyDeleteAwkward for sure. It might get worse.
DeleteWell, I'm glad to hear you make some of this shit up... then it's Funny in a Dark Gallows Humor kinda exaggerated way that I confess, is something I would laugh at.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think at least part of my sense of humor may have its roots in my experiences. Probably not unusual, though.
DeleteConfused is an understatement. And you conveyed it well.
ReplyDeleteThanks much, Darla. And thanks for continuing to stop by.
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