Every day my job requires that I scoop up dog shit. Mountains of it. Most days there's only one, but Monday mornings bring a whole range. This dog is a Great Dane. Close your eyes and try to picture the biggest turd you've ever dropped. Now multiply that by at least five, and you have a pretty good idea of the size of these things. Usually they're pretty firm, but now and then they can be, well, a little soft. No matter, it's in my job description so I do it. Lately, with these frigid fucking temperatures the piles are pretty stiff, so they're easy to pick up. A while ago the poor creature wasn't feeling well and the shit was pretty soupy. I still have to scoop it up, though. Most days the shit's on a concrete slab, but lots of times it's on the loose stone that surrounds the concrete. When I scoop the shit from these stones the stones come up with it, so I suppose it's only a matter of time before my employer has to buy more stones. I don't know which is worse- the smell of the shit, or the combination of the smell of the shit and the "scent" of the bags. I don't know what the manufacturer is thinking, perfuming dog shit bags. It doesn't do anything for me.
I just can't for the life of me, imagine following a dog around with a plastic bag, scented or unscented, on my hand. What must the dogs think? - boy have I got him trained and see how happy he is when he picks up my shit!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm sure. Sometimes he looks at me and I swear he's laughing!
ReplyDeleteYours is the first Blog I ever 'entered' and agreed to a 'Content Warning', never was sure what that was all about or what might confront me when I arrived? But, now I'm glad I did because I'm LMAO and sorry, I just felt perhaps Mike Rowe ought to be invited to a Day on your Job. I've had dirty jobs most don't wanna have to do... in another kind of way. In my Corporate Lives in No. 1 Career I ran the Collections, Foreclosure and Bankruptcy Depts. for major Financial Institutions... shitty job since you aren't meeting Clients at the best place in their lives, so they pretty much Hate you for what is unfolding in their lives and they need to vent outwards about on any scapegoat, especially ones asking for Money they probably don't have. No. 2 Career was at a very large District Attorney's Office, lots of carnage of Society in those Files and the dregs of Society that commit the Crimes, so... a shitfest in a different kind of way. Perhaps that is why I developed a Gallow's Sense of Humor, as many of us do that have to do the dirty jobs in Life, but, somebody's gotta do it. I owned Cats rather than Dogs since they have the sensibilities to bury their shit for you, which I appreciated.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha, well, thanks for taking the risk and entering this space. Your career sounds like nothing I'd ever want to do! I can certainly imagine being in the midst of all that day after day after day could drag one down. I'm fine picking up the shit. There's enough variety in my day-to-day responsibilities, and I look at the shit picking-up as just another part of my job. I love your last sentence since I, too, am a cat lover. Have been for life. I appreciate you- and all other fellow bloggers- stopping by and posting your comments. Lets me know someone might be reading this. Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a delightful part of your day!
ReplyDeleteJust one of many, though not the most pleasant for first thing in the morning.
DeleteI don't get it either. All of the poop bags that I have bought were all scented. It doesn't help. lol
ReplyDeleteI think it makes the smell more sickening, honestly. It's kind of like B.O.- bad enough on its own, but when one tries to mask it with cologne or something it's even worse.
DeleteThe scented bags are not helping and really making it worse because the last thing I want is to smell dog shit with a hint of some essential oils. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteMy feelings exactly, Mr. Shife!
ReplyDeleteAnything scented to disguise odors only makes them worse, I believe. I'm gagging just thinking about this task. I hope you get paid a high wage. ~nods~ Happy scooping!
ReplyDeleteJob security...
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